First impressions; the inside story

For this week's post I’ll be putting down something awfully common in our everyday lives. And like every common we dismiss it rather than delving deeper into origin or logic. So I’ll come straight to the point rather than elongating my preamble as usual. Like the title suggests it’s about impressions. First impressions actually.

To the general public first impressions are what we perceive when we SEE a person for the first time. But little do they realise, it’s more than just an assumption based on physical appearance. THAT is stereotyping. The first impression is a two-fold thing. The first being the initial assumption mentioned above and the second is when you actually get to exchange syllables; a proper tête a tête. It is then that you actually get to form an opinion about someone. Watching someone from a distance and forming an opinion about them might seem unfair but it is human nature to ‘size’ up individuals and categorise them into ‘types’. SO, today we talk about what happens after we approach someone, administering them as our own type. Like Talha A. B informed me the first time you talk to someone it’s all mysterious yet cautious. You actually get to know how successful your stereotyping was. Eventually both of these things will contribute to a first impression ‘grand total’. However, you can still form an authentic impression about someone even if you don’t get to chat; sometimes you just observe how the person in question behaves around everyone else.

If you think this is some lesson on how to make first meetings successful, think again. Though I’ve been told I can make a career out of giving social advice but that’s for another time. Maybe next week we can talk about tried and tested small talk. But for now it is more of a speedy journey from the first time we meet someone till present day and how much we were right or wrong about them. Based on context I’ve donated all possible situations with metaphors. It’s better to call them relationships actually because this here is a journey rather than an abrupt dismissal on first sight. These being ‘The ugly duckling’, ‘Frankenstein’, ‘Smooth surfer’, ‘Rocky road’ and ‘Lukewarm’. I would also like to add that most of these phrases are the work of my creative co-author. (Just in case I make a sociological breakthrough and am later sued :D). Anyway, let’s look at these in turn.

The ‘Ugly Duckling’ is actually a very interesting phenomenon. Don’t be fooled by the name. Always remember that the ugly duckling actually transformed into a swan in the end. That’s how such a relationship works. It starts off a bit strange; a thing or two might put you off but then as you get to know the person well you realise how lame you were to assume. The thing is that everyone in this world has a life different from ours and as we get to know more about theirs its revelations all around. The fact that we are proven wrong by such happenings actually becomes a positive thing. At first we saw differences; now we see similarities. There are countless stories of how people got on each other’s bad side at first but later became the best of friends.

‘Frankenstein’ in the opposite of the above. Just like an apparently useful invention went nuts this is what happens in this relationship. You start off well because you probably had a positive stereotype and impression but as you get to know the person you realise your direction might be inappropriate. Maybe it’s because expectations were high at the beginning and could never be fulfilled. It is like an infatuation that loses its glitter and goes ugly when the initial love-stuck sheen rubs off. What people need to see here are the long term effects of their current doing. Kudos to all those who can get through such a phase though.

Then comes the ‘smooth surfer’. As the name suggests these people are lucky enough to be proven right of their first opinion. In brief; whatever they expected they got, the expectation can be high or low but there’s satisfaction so who cares. They can be friends or couples who are taken as an example of perfection. However, if you ask me perfection can get a bit boring. Ups and downs are essential so we realise what the other person is like in a negative situation. But hey, that’s just what I think. (And apparently ALL those who get involved in infidelities :P). Pessimism apart, a salute to all those who make a spot-on decision and keep the magic going all their lives.

The ‘rocky road’ is well an ice cream flavour I think. It saddens me to use a beauty such as ice cream for such a benefit but I was running out of ideas :P. Anyway these individuals never get along and probably never will. They got on the wrong foot but unfortunately stayed that way. Do NOT even attempt to make something like that work. A co-incidence or a bad mood can prevail once, or twice or thrice if you feel generous but if ALL the time then such a thing is not meant to be, definitely! Just do a 180 and keep walking.

Last of all comes ‘lukewarm’. And just like the name suggests that’s what such a relationship is; lukewarm. This is actually the least important form because either these people are simple acquaintances we get to see once in a while or probably one of those we’re obligated to see once in a while. They are not obligated nor authorised to influence our decisions. The same goes for us. Such an acquaintance is all smiles and civility but nothing deeper. It is always a useful tip to have a few of these lying around; beats loneliness I guess. Back in high school, there were many people I could just go and talk to about general stuff when no one else was around and till this day we’re in contact. However, don’t make it a habit because honestly we all need to delve deep once in a while. Oh by the way, if such a relationship does not consist of mere acquaintances I suggest you add some fuel to the fire.

Personally speaking one of my best friends is someone who sat behind me in class for two years but only got to know each other later and realized how totally compatible we were. Compatible enough that she’s 25% of our followers :D. Of course can’t forget my co-author here. Who knew two people who barely talked to each other despite being classmates would ultimately team up to create the extraordinary, the awesome and the next big thing. Ok I guess I’m getting carried away now; we just love our blog too much. But the point is; we communicated that’s how we got to know each other’s literary insights and very awesome traits. And yeah I just had a “Rocky road” recently; a guy my senior from college whom I got on the wrong foot with (that wasn’t me it was actually the people I hung out with but somehow they’ve all disappeared and I’m the only one he can run into :S). So yeah not only is he intimidating his chain smoking skills will probably give me cancer!

Anyway, that’s a rap I guess. To conclude, all I want to say is, types apart it’s always good to give someone a chance when you’re meeting them for the first time. I mean someone might be having a bad day, a headache, family or peer problems or maybe he/she generally takes time to open up. GIVE PEOPLE A CHANCE! And they might give you one too. A CHANCE not high rising expectations or you might do a “Franky” here. (So my mom says). We shouldn’t judge from first impressions but yes we are allowed to think about them. However sometimes, at the end of the day, every little thing you find about someone is something unique and interesting so find away!

Speaking of find; I need to go find a midnight snack. This is Sara Q signing off for now. J