Saturday, March 5, 2011

Stop and Stare

This might sound entertaining but honestly what i'm about to discuss here is not short of being an epidemic itself. My dears, I talk about the one and only "STARING" habit which is such an inborn "value" that it sort of accompanies ethnic origin at birth. Face it, WE are a curious nation. We were born wide eyed and even now the existence of the opposite gender never ceases to amaze us. Of course the main problem is girls complaining about the full body scan rather than the other way around. I mean, face it, if a guy catches a girl looking at him intently, with a silly one corner smile he is more likely to puff up his chest than to tug at lose hair strands. BUT there are both sides to a discussion and boys, I will do you justice.


Every Pakistani woman is aware of the fact that when she leaves the house she will be scanned from head to toe by any male individual who frequents her path. If you think its because of wearing something provocative, well think again. I'm not saying thats not a big way to get yourself "hounded" but generally no beauty, height, weight or amount of layers has anything to do with it. And honestly who are we to define provocative; it is too relative. So yes take a walk and start the count; the security guard of the house up front, two teenagers returning from tuition, the regular uncle on a cycle, the guy fixing some phone line, the the shopkeeper, regular suited corporate guy driving down the road, etc. It is like this paranoia that the woman has come to ignore and even accept.

This was a sensitive issue to write on. Though common enough, Miss Q here had to search high and low for answers, talk openly to her male acquaintances as to the reason behind this predicament and observe others all the same being victimised herself. My question, "WHY?". The answer "instinct". The answer took me back to this article I read in the Readers' Digest once about attraction in general. Basically what that article said was, the guy and the girl "size" each other up. Any person, man or woman carries with them this compatibility criteria and when they come across someone who fits that criteria it creates this invisible thread of connection between them. Think about it, if the staring guy's good looking you're not THAT unpleased and well if he's not he's just a shameless loser with no respect for women isn't he? The thing is girls, half of the time you and me don't realise that we give out these signals of approval. I'm not saying such instinct is wrong. It is this instinct that is enabling the population to grow this rapidly.

But look here, there HAS to be something about Pakistan that's different right. What about, say the European countries. Did their hormones get exhausted? Its weird how we claim to be more loyal since most of us stay hitched to the same guy/girl post/pre mid-twenty's age till the time one of the spouses passes away. I get how the single generation scours the market but what I don't get is how every man AND woman doesn't become blurry for a guy/girl when he/she has chosen one to be there forever. It is outrageous, the crimes being done on the name of religion but noone knows the basics OF the religion. I might only be touching "looking" but we all know its an area open for creativity and physicality.

And girls, despite what i said about provocative clothing being a relative term, we all know our cultural limits now don't we. If we exceed those limits we are compelling the male population to to go gaga. Even though speaking from the sisterhood I know how inappropriately some female individuals have come to behave. Like, VERY inappropriate. If the girl deserves to be left alone and not harrassed then the guys deserve less impetus to invoke certain desires. Sometimes I feel its the lack of entertainment that this happens; either its too pricey or too scarce. Of course this somewhat justifies the labour, working class but NOT the "Burger bachay". "Poondi" as the guys like to call it is a social event held at strategic spots usually in large groups. They're easy to spot, mostly at "open" eateries, a bit dressed up, facing the same direction and they usually won't buy anything to eat since they might need to change location at some indefinite time. Then come the "Poondi approvers", girls, mostly young, giggly, basically what the audience is facing and having the silly notion that its because they are so hot/pretty. *sigh*. Oh and they too shall refrain from eating since they consider it a turnoff. What as waste, pass me those fries!

So here i am taking everyone's side. Im so great aren't I? The thing is God created the woman to be loved and respected , not pieced down by body proportions. That's the way it is; the woman needs more respect in this regard than the man because of who and what she is. See, I cannot under any circumstances open my gate at 12 am and walk down to some corner shop 5 minutes away while maybe a guy can. So yeah, just because a woman is apparently admiring someone's bulgy muscles doesnt give the muscle man the same right. (Oh please don't whine, you guys get to do more fun stuff ALREADY). The gist of it is, admire the beauty of the human being, single them out but be DISCREET, or else very soon you lose respect and ultimately credibility. There's admiration and then there's harrasment. Of course the labouror breaking down the road will never read this but maybe some high-ups will and thus serve as an example. Now run off my kids, I pronounce you brothers and sisters. Kidding! :P

Until next time, this is Sara Q thinking of getting some well deserved sleep!

3 comments:

  1. aha that is so true! I love the way how you have shown both sides of the picture. I agree with you on this that boys are not the only ones responsible for the staring problem or 'poondi', girls are equally responsible for it. This problem can only be solved if both the parties try to work on it but sadly this wouldnt happen due to the devil called FASHION in our lives! lol

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  2. No doubt Almighty has created a woman to be loved and respected and there is a reason due to which heaven lies under mothers feet not fathers... but woman also has to earn that respect and love... i guess m being harsh when m saying earn... but the thing is when a woman goes out with proper dressing, she gets hardly one or two stares... thats what i have observed... but it again is a controversial topic everyone has his own notion and preception about it....

    anyways, nice article by you Sara Q.
    Keep up the good work....

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  3. Thank you very much. Yes, you are right. This topic is anything but not debatable you can say. Which is why we started a topic on out forum. Feel free to comment and voice your opinion there as well.
    Stay tuned!

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