Stop and Stare

This might sound entertaining but honestly what i'm about to discuss here is not short of being an epidemic itself. My dears, I talk about the one and only "STARING" habit which is such an inborn "value" that it sort of accompanies ethnic origin at birth. Face it, WE are a curious nation. We were born wide eyed and even now the existence of the opposite gender never ceases to amaze us. Of course the main problem is girls complaining about the full body scan rather than the other way around. I mean, face it, if a guy catches a girl looking at him intently, with a silly one corner smile he is more likely to puff up his chest than to tug at lose hair strands. BUT there are both sides to a discussion and boys, I will do you justice.

Every Pakistani woman is aware of the fact that when she leaves the house she will be scanned from head to toe by any male individual who frequents her path. If you think its because of wearing something provocative, well think again. I'm not saying thats not a big way to get yourself "hounded" but generally no beauty, height, weight or amount of layers has anything to do with it. And honestly who are we to define provocative; it is too relative. So yes take a walk and start the count; the security guard of the house up front, two teenagers returning from tuition, the regular uncle on a cycle, the guy fixing some phone line, the the shopkeeper, regular suited corporate guy driving down the road, etc. It is like this paranoia that the woman has come to ignore and even accept.

This was a sensitive issue to write on. Though common enough, Miss Q here had to search high and low for answers, talk openly to her male acquaintances as to the reason behind this predicament and observe others all the same being victimised herself. My question, "WHY?". The answer "instinct". The answer took me back to this article I read in the Readers' Digest once about attraction in general. Basically what that article said was, the guy and the girl "size" each other up. Any person, man or woman carries with them this compatibility criteria and when they come across someone who fits that criteria it creates this invisible thread of connection between them. Think about it, if the staring guy's good looking you're not THAT unpleased and well if he's not he's just a shameless loser with no respect for women isn't he? The thing is girls, half of the time you and me don't realise that we give out these signals of approval. I'm not saying such instinct is wrong. It is this instinct that is enabling the population to grow this rapidly.

But look here, there HAS to be something about Pakistan that's different right. What about, say the European countries. Did their hormones get exhausted? Its weird how we claim to be more loyal since most of us stay hitched to the same guy/girl post/pre mid-twenty's age till the time one of the spouses passes away. I get how the single generation scours the market but what I don't get is how every man AND woman doesn't become blurry for a guy/girl when he/she has chosen one to be there forever. It is outrageous, the crimes being done on the name of religion but noone knows the basics OF the religion. I might only be touching "looking" but we all know its an area open for creativity and physicality.

And girls, despite what i said about provocative clothing being a relative term, we all know our cultural limits now don't we. If we exceed those limits we are compelling the male population to to go gaga. Even though speaking from the sisterhood I know how inappropriately some female individuals have come to behave. Like, VERY inappropriate. If the girl deserves to be left alone and not harrassed then the guys deserve less impetus to invoke certain desires. Sometimes I feel its the lack of entertainment that this happens; either its too pricey or too scarce. Of course this somewhat justifies the labour, working class but NOT the "Burger bachay". "Poondi" as the guys like to call it is a social event held at strategic spots usually in large groups. They're easy to spot, mostly at "open" eateries, a bit dressed up, facing the same direction and they usually won't buy anything to eat since they might need to change location at some indefinite time. Then come the "Poondi approvers", girls, mostly young, giggly, basically what the audience is facing and having the silly notion that its because they are so hot/pretty. *sigh*. Oh and they too shall refrain from eating since they consider it a turnoff. What as waste, pass me those fries!

So here i am taking everyone's side. Im so great aren't I? The thing is God created the woman to be loved and respected , not pieced down by body proportions. That's the way it is; the woman needs more respect in this regard than the man because of who and what she is. See, I cannot under any circumstances open my gate at 12 am and walk down to some corner shop 5 minutes away while maybe a guy can. So yeah, just because a woman is apparently admiring someone's bulgy muscles doesnt give the muscle man the same right. (Oh please don't whine, you guys get to do more fun stuff ALREADY). The gist of it is, admire the beauty of the human being, single them out but be DISCREET, or else very soon you lose respect and ultimately credibility. There's admiration and then there's harrasment. Of course the labouror breaking down the road will never read this but maybe some high-ups will and thus serve as an example. Now run off my kids, I pronounce you brothers and sisters. Kidding! :P

Until next time, this is Sara Q thinking of getting some well deserved sleep!

Pandora's box

This might seem out of the blue but I’ve noticed how much the twosome ‘Pandora’ and her ‘box’ are tossed around in conversations. Political talk shows, general arguments, it’s always “let’s not go there, it’ll be like opening Pandora’s Box”. Etc. Etc. I’m guessing not many are aware of whom this godforsaken Pandora woman was and that the “box” is more than an expression of exaggeration. What I’m typing up today is an interpretation different from the usual (as given by the example above).

The story of Pandora’s Box is but a small fragment of Greek mythology. But somehow Pandora and her darling box paved a stereotype in more ways than one. I’m not saying it is the one and only true origin of such stereotypes, but how something that is a myth, that doesn't even exist, laid a foundation to in turn shatter the foundations of feminism.

The story goes that the Gods needed to punish mankind for some reason so they decided to create a woman as a punishment. According to them there was no other way of ripping Man’s heart out and planting seeds of unrest and dissatisfaction than the creation of the fairer sex.

Pandora was given seductive gifts such as beauty, persuasion, a talent for music and ‘social arts’. Alongside, she was given this beautiful gold box that the Gods and Goddesses filled with all the evils of the world and as an afterthought added in “hope”. The box was an offering for the man who would marry her. She was instructed not to open the box at ANY cost but not made aware of the reason or what lay within.

The guy she ultimately married took her to his house and left off for someplace shortly. Pandora explored her new home, performed all household chores but somehow every now and then she’d glance at the brilliant box which was stupidly placed at a very prominent location. Finally, unable to take it any more she decided to take a peep. On not being able to see much she opened it wide and out came a big cloud. She immediately closed the lid and dusted the cloud away. Little did she know ‘hope’ was still inside. It was a cloud of all the evils we know of today and they spread out everywhere.

Like I said before, it’s not the belief that’s important here; it is the context. I patiently wrote down all these facts while fighting the urge to express my aggravation. How much these so called Gods are in the wrong. Creating a woman as a punishment? You might think hey relax, it’s a myth but like I said this myth is quite a substantial part of our lives; we just don’t realize it. How many times does a movie introduce some seductress as a last resort of bringing some man down? Add in the theory of women being inquisitive, bad secret keepers and gossipers. Moreover, I read about some survey that proved that no woman can keep a secret longer than 48 hours.

What’s frustrating is the fact that this should not be about women but about ALL mankind. I mean who says guys don’t discuss the juicy details of certain friends and acquaintances or anyone else for that matter. They somehow do it in such a strategic manner that it ends up coming out of the mouth of some woman. There are exceptions of course (I say that to keep peace with my co-author here :P ).

Back to Pandora; if she had simply been told what the box contained she would never have cared twice. Somehow all the secrecy created a reverse psychological effect. It is said that there was no intention of malice, it was just curiosity and she immediately regretted what she did. Every woman’s story; why keep her in the dark? Just tell her already before she finds out elsewhere. If the latter happens she’ll actually start judging you and you do NOT want to go there.

Secondly, why make something so dangerously attractive (i.e. the dazzling jewel studded box) if you want to avoid her probing. This is again a reflection on society; the subject matter is never as big as its hype, thus the ‘mountain out of a molehill’ concept.

Thirdly the woman was bored out of her wits. Picture this: she’s actually a newlywed who’s all alone in a place unknown to her while the guy waltzes out of the house. Believe me, if women got even a small piece of action of the outside world men would stop whining about their personality issues.

Another thing that bothers me here is the fact that the ‘box’ was to be taken to her home of marriage; call it dowry. Let’s sum up here, a woman was created as a punishment and the dowry she brought along contained the world’s evils. Wow, what a complete package. What were the Greeks thinking? But even today the world (women included) believes and admits that all evils are in fact released by women, malice or no malice. Maybe that’s what everyone wants to believe.

The irony of it all is the part where hope comes in. It is true that with all the evils of hatred, jealousy, gluttony, lust, intolerance and greed lurking around it is difficult to locate hope. Hope stayed back because it was not part of the dark cloud. They can never co-exist you see. So never look for any glimmer of hope amongst all those evils. You have to look for it elsewhere; it’s closer than you think.

They say home is where the heart is. I say HOPE is where the heart is.

And with that I retire from a discussion that is I feel, still incomplete. I have been advised to keep it short to make it readable. (That sucks, really).

Think about this unusual interpretation. Anyway, this lovely lady needs her beauty sleep now :). So long readers.